The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
