Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sext me about skeletons
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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