Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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