the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i will never coherently bang her
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
