Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize