she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Randomize
