Cold hands, warm shart.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
