Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You need Xanax blowdarts
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
