i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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