come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
