Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
