I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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