his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
