You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
