Barsexuality is the new black.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
