There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
