Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
