Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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