I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
