Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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