More tranny stories later!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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