The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
