You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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