Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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