That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
