everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
