Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
