ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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