So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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