I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
