the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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