Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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