she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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