I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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