Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
