Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
