You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Never underestimate the power of titties
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