You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
