They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize