I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
