You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone