I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?