He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
