drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize