haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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