So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
