You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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