Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
