Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
