There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
