dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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