Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
