Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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