I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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