I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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