it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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