I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
