I'm lost and stupid without you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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