Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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