I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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