she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just found puke in my bra..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
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The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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