Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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