Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Come share oat with me in your robe
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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